MY DAD LEAVE ME WITHOUT ANY SIGN

ASSALAMUALAIKUM   

HI SEMUA, 
EMM AKU RASA HARINI AKU DAH READY NAK CERITA BENDA YANG AKU PENDAM SELAMA NI. 
YEE, LAMA AKU HILANGKAN DIRI.. 
IT IS BECAUSE I LOST MY DAD. I REALLY LOST MY DAD.. FOR REAL.
THE THING THAT I REALLY SCARED OF FINALLY HAPPEN.

IT HAPPEN ON 20TH OF OKTOBER. YA ALLAH SETIAP KALI TERINGAT SITUATION NI JANTUNG AKU RASA SAKIT SANGAT.
SAKIT YANG XBOLEH DIUNGKAPKAN DENGAN KATA2.
 2 DAYS BEFORE TU HE WAS ADMITTED BECAUSE OF XBOLEH NAFAS. 
PARU2 DIA KIND OF X INHALE OXYGEN ANYMORE. DY INHALE CARBON DIOXIDE..
AFTER A DAY BENDA JADI MAKIN WORSE PARU2 DY KENA INFECTION. YA ALLAH, YA ALLAH BESAR SUNGGUH DUGAAN MU.. KAKAK AKU KOL CKP AYAH AKU KOMA. PADAHAL AKU BARU SAMPAI KL X SAMPAI 24HOURS PUN LAGI. BUT AKU, ADIK NGN ABG AKU PATAH BALIK KEDAH. SUMPAH WEYH. AKU SMPAI HOSPITAL TU, AKU XBOLEH TAHAN AIRMATA AKU. AKU YANG SELALU CAKAP NGN AKU, ORG YANG SELALU PAKSA AKU BALIK RUMAH. ORG YANG SELALU BELETER KAT AKU. XBOLEH BERCAKAP. BARING KAT KATIL XSEDARKAN DIRI. XDENGAR SUARA DIA. DIA X BOLEH TENGOK AKU PUN. MENYESALNYA AKU TIME TU SBB XBALIK MASA RAYA HAJI.. KALAU AKU BALIK MESTI ATLEAST AKU BLEY SPENT TIME NGN DIA.. YA ALLAH.. RINDU YA ALLAH.. ON 20HB TU. PAGI TU DIA MCM BANYAK RESPON GILA. DY ANGKAT TANGAN DY. DY SENYUM.. MACAM2 DY BT EVEN DLM KOMA. BYK REACTION DY KASI. AKU INGAT DY IMPROVING. AKU YAKIN DY AKAN SEDAR. TAPI LAIN YANG JADI. 

TAK SAMPAI ONE HOURS LEPAS TU BACAAN TEKANAN DARAH DIA JATUH MENDADAK. 30 SOMETHING JA MASA TU. YA ALLAH TAKOT NYA AKU.. NURSE LARI PANGGIL DR.. KAMI KENA KELUAR.. JANTUNG DY BEHENTI SEKALI LAGI..TU MASA SECOND CPR DIORANG BT .
YA ALLAH MASA TU AKU RASA X BOLEH NAFAS. XBOLEH NAFAS...
ATA KENAPA ATA TINGGAL UMY.. KENAPA ATA.
KENAPA ATA X KOL UMY PUN SEBULAN TU..
LEPAS CPR KEDUA JANTUNG ATA DENGUP BALIK. BUT FOR ONLY 30 MINUTES. 
LEPAS TU DR BUAT LAGI CPR KALI KE 3.
 ATA KUAT WEYH. DY LAWAN. KALI KE TIGA PUN DY CUBA LAWAN.. DY BANGUN BALIK.. KALI KE EMPAT KALI TERAKIHIR DR BT CPR. MUMMY CAKAP SUDAH LA XNAK SEKSA BADAN ATA..  ATA DAH LAWAN KUAT SANGAT. DR CAKAP. EVEN DY SEDAR PUN LEPAS NI, DY XKAN SAMA CM DULU. TULANG BADAN DY SEMUA DA PATAH SEBAB CPR TU. DY MUNGKIN AKAN HILANG INGATAN. AND DY MUNGKIN AKAN TETAP KOMA SELAMANYA.. 

YA ALLAH MASA TU AKU MACAM NAK GILA.. SUMPAH MACAM NAK GILA.. AKU XLEY TERIMA.. ORANG YANG AKU PLAING HARAP DLM HIDUP AKU. ORANG YANG SELALU BAGI HARAPAN KAT AKU. ORANG YANG SELALU SUPPORT AKU.. ORANG YANG AJAQ AKU EVERYTHING DLM DUNIA NI. ORANG YANG CUBA PAHAM MASALAH AKU DLM SEMUA KEADAAN.. ATA.. UMY NAK ATA.. UMY X KUAT ATA. XDAK ORG YANG BOLEH JADI MCM ATA.. ATA TOLONG LA UMY.. 

UMY XBOLEH NAK HANDLE HIDUP UMY TANPA ATA.. ATA...
DY LAH TEMPAT AKU MENGADU.. DY LAH TEMPAT AKU MANJA, TEMPAT AKU GOSSIP. DENGAN DY AKU BOLEH CERITA SEMUA BENDA.. 
AKU BOLEH MINTA MACAM2. DY ORANG YG PALING NAK TGK AKU BAHAGIA. NK TENGOK KAMI SEMUA DAPAT APA SAJA YANG KAMI NAK. YANG AKAN CUBA TUNAIKAN SEMUA IMPIAN KAMI.

ATA.. ATAA. ATAAAAA.. UMY RINDU, TERLALU RINDU. UMY SANGGUP KORBAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD AS LONG I GOT U BY MY SIDE.. NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND , BECAUSE OUR RELATION IS DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PEOPLE..
BECAUSE U ARE MY BESTFRIEND, MY BOYFRIEND, MY SECRET ADMIRER MY CRUSH, MY SUPPORTER. MY EVERYTHING. MY BREATH. DAD I MISS U SO MUCH. I MISS YOUR VOICE. I NEED YOUR HUG. I NEED YOUR KISS. ATA I JUST MISS U SO DAMM MUCH.. WHY DID U EVER LEAVE ME.. WHY ATA??
NOT A DAY EVER PAST WITHOUT MISSING YOU.. .
                               
P/S 39 DAYS AND STILL COUNTING.. 


SEE YOU GUY. THANKS. 
ASSALAMUALAIKUM

HE LEAVE US.

ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN MY LIFE LEAVE ME FOREVER.

16 OCTOBER 2015
3.00AM
I GOT A TEXT AND MESSAGE FROM MY SIBLING WHICH SAID THAT MY DAD IS SICK AND HE IS ADMITTED IN THE RED ZONE UNCONSCIOUS

WE NEVER KNOW

assalamualaikum.

first sekali nak ucap selamat menyambut maal hijrah.

then baru nak start. ok. dua minggu ni mmg kind of my worse week ever.

banyak gila benda jadi wyh.

first sekali my dad kena masuk hospital sebab minor stroke. tapi alhamdulillah sekarang da much

better. next is me, sebab lutut aku sakit sangat. aku g la klinik check. ya Allah serious doctor tu

buat aku down gila weh. dy cakap aku kena pencen da sport. no jog, no hiking. no sport.

dy soh aku tukaq swimming. ya Allah menages aku weyh. aku nampak ja kuat. tapi aku x pun.

netball tu passion aq kot. cmna aku nak stop weyh. pastu dia kata aku mmg akan gain weigh.

OMG. benda yang paling aku xsuka dengar weyh. emm sedih weyh. rasa cm sia2 ja effort aq selama

ni. orang xpaham aku weyh. orang xkan paham. sebab diorg bkn kat situation aq. aq yg go through

all of this thing. tapi aku sedar apa yg aku buat ni lalui ni. kalau org dengar pun org akan annoying

ngn aq. mesti org pk aq obsess nak kurus kan. emm.

n the third thing dat happen to me is about my study. aq xrasa nak cerita specific. tapi bnda ni mmg

buat aq down gila sebenarnya. orang yang tahu ja akan paham apa yg aku tgh go through weyh. i just

hope everything will be  fine.. YA ALLAH tlg la aku YA ALLAH. aku xtaw nak buat apa da. mati

kutu. rasa bodoh gila diri ni..

ok lah. untill now ja dulu. when i have free time.

aq update lagi. take care guys.

staystrong everyone. everything must happen for reason.

love u guys.

from umyishak.

ITS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY.

ARCHITECTURE LIFE

ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

HAI EVERYONE.

THE TIME NOW IS 8.44AM
AKU BARU JE BALIK DARI STUDIO SUBMIT ASSIGNMENT AKU.
YUP!! XTIDO LAGI DARI SEMALAM. BUT ITS KIND OF NORMAL ANYWAY.
BIASALAH ARCHITECTURE STUDENT KN.

HIDUP ARCHITECTURE STUDENT MMG LAIN SIKIT.
WE HAVE BOTH THEORY AND PRACTICAL.
MASA ORG LAIN BUSY G KELAS JA..
KORANG DA BUSY DENGAN SEGALA BAGAI PROJECT TAMBAH PULAK NGN SUBMISSION ASSIGNMENT SUBJECT THEORY. PERGHH PADAT SIAK..
TAPI SATU YG BESTNYA PASAI BUDAK ARCHI NI.. DIORANG NYA UKHWAH ANTARA SATU SAMA LAIN TU AGAK RAPAT LA WEYH.. KADANG TU LAGI RAPAT NGN ROMMIE KORANG. YELAH SEGALA MACAM KELAS DAH SAMA. PASTU WEEKEND NGN AFTER OFFICE HOURS SEMUA TEPERUK KAT STUDIO JE.
MANA XJADI RAPAT. ASYIK MENGADAP MUKA DIORANG JA.. HAHA
CARI LAH SORG PARTNER YANG KORANG MMG LEY BETUL2 GO.. ATLEAST SORANG AH..
KALAU BANYAK.. MMG LAGI BAGUS LA.  USUALLY BILA ADA SUBMISSION UNTUK PROJECT KORANG TU. EVEN KORANG ADA MASA SMINGGU NAK SIAPKAN OR KORANG MMG BOLEH SIAPKAN WITHIN ONE DAY TAPI PERCAYA LA. ONE DAY BEFORE SUBMISSION DAY TU BARU KORANG AKAN START BUAT. HAHAH.
XELOK SEBENARNYA, TAPI TULAH LUMRAH BUDAK ARCHI. SUKA STAY UP XTENTU PASAL.  HAHAH.
AKU PUN SALAH SORANG DARINYALAH. HEHEHE. TAPI AKU XKESAH SNGT. SBB AKU MMG INSOMNIA. XDAK PROJECT PUN MMG 3,4 PAGI BARU TIDOQ..
 SO MCM XKESAH SNGAT.
TAPI MALAS AKU TU YANG SUSAH SANGAT NAK BUANG DOE!!
HUH. NAMPK KATIL NAK BARING MEREPUT JA.. XNK BUAT APA DA.
SEBENARNYA ADA BENDA AKU NAK CITA.
TAPI SEBABB MY BRAIN KIND OF TAK CUKUP FRESH. HEHEH.
SO NANTI2 LA. SOAL HATI NI SUSAH NAK CERITA KALAU MOOD TGH HYPER. X MELAYAN NANTI WEYH..

OKLAH NEED TO GO. NEXT TIME AKU MERAPU MEREBEN LAGI..
NAK KELUAR NGN MEMBA AKU. KENA TEMAN DIA KELUAR.
KALAU IKOT AKU MEMANG NAK TIDO JA SMPAI ESOK SBB HARINI KAN CUTI. SBB  JEREBU. EHHE..

OK. SEEE YAA.
ASSALAMUALAIKUM. ;))

CHANGING.

ASSALAMUALAIKUM EVERYONE,

SERIOUSLY ITS HAVE BEEN SO LONG.
DAH BERSARANG BERHABUK SEMUA JENIS BENDA DAH ADA KAT SINI.
ANYWAY SEBENARNYA I WANT TO START EVERYTHING AGAIN.
BLOG NI CAM CHILDISH GILA. HAHA.
BILA AKU BACA SEMUA POST YANG LEPAS. CAM NAK GELAK GULING2.
HAHAH. BUT BENDA TU SEMUA KENANGAN KAN.
HOW CAN I BE SO FUNNY BY WRITTEN ALL OF THAT STUFF.
HOW CARES. ITS MEMORY. NAK DELETE BUAT APA.

SO STARTING FROM TODAY, ITS KIND OF A NEW GIRL TAKING CARE OF THIS BLOG.
MALAS NAK BUAT BLOG BARU. LECEH LA..


TODAY IS 27 SEPTEMBER 2015, 12.39AM.
MY NAME IS UMY ISHAK, IM 21 YEARS 1 MONTH AN 11DAYS HAVE BEEN IN THIS WORLD.

Damm Scared

assalamualaikum.

hai..

something that really make me cry happen today..

it seem to be that i already absent one of my studio class that i really shud not absent.

today is the first submission of my first project.

i sleep at 5 am just to finish my project that i have to submit before 9.15am today.

but i dont wake up. my roomate is in hurry with her camping preparation so she cannot manage to

wake me up. when i wake up, it already 11 oclock.. omaigod.

i cant stop myself from crying. bcoz my lecturer have told that he really hate people sent the

assignment late, even for 5minute. im so scared to death.

i still go to the class to see whether he is still there..

but im so unlucky because no one is there.. so i started to cry again..

i call the other lecturer, the part timer sir. he told me that he already home.

so i ask him how shud i sent my drawing. he say, u shud have sent it before 9.15 isnt it.

i told him that im not feeling well. thats why i cannot sent it in the morning.

he ask me to get an mc if i still want to submit this drawing on monday.

so i call my friends for help..

i want to go directly to the clinic because it already lunch hour plus today is friday. the

lunch hour is untill 3 but i left my matric card inside the room.

thank goodness my friend ride my to my hostel then sent me to clinic.

however the clinic is already close.. i cry again.

i walk to the hostel with eye full of tear. after 3 i go back to the clinic..

n im lucky to get the mc due to my gastritis problem.

now i just have to wait for monday.. i really hope everything when right.

swear to god im damm scared. wish me all the best..

for now..

see ya.. assalamualaikum.